Naughty or Nice?

Another week has passed and yet again its time to confess some of the things that REALLY happened at the Honey House. Of course, in order to maintain my image and self esteem, I am going to have to deny that any of these events actually occurred.

I did not have to retrieve a plate from the trash after realizing that I still had some garbage in one hand, and no plate in the other. I am SO not that absent-minded!

I did not have to practically physically restrain my two-year-old so that Honey Daddy could give him a haircut. After all of his haircuts, Jonah is definitely not afraid of the razor anymore!

I did not go on a 20 mile bike ride on Saturday... in DECEMBER... in 45 degree weather. Nope! Only a crazy person would do that!

I did not let Jonah watch TV (PBS, I swear!) so I could get some things on my Christmas to-do list done while his brother was napping.

I am definitely NOT tempted to slice open the tape on the rather large box under the tree to see what is inside before I am supposed to open it. If I did have such thoughts, I definitely wouldn't think about re-taping the box afterward so no one would be the wiser! (Honey Daddy says he will take the present back if I entertain thoughts like these... so I'm not even thinking about it!)

WHAT is in there?!

I do not giggle on the inside a little bit every time Jonah talks about our "kifmas" tree and it's "tinkling lights". That would be completely juvenile!

I am participating in Not Me! Monday.

No Stinky Boys or Pie Allowed

Another week has passed and yet again its time to confess some of the things that REALLY happened at the Honey House. Of course, in order to maintain my image and self esteem, I am going to have to deny that any of these events actually occurred.

*We did not put up our Christmas tree the Saturday before Thanksgiving. We are not that excited for Christmas, no way!

*I did not get so busy with Thanksgiving preparations that I neglected to bathe my boys for nearly a week... that would be gross!

*I absolutely do not pin down my 8 month old with my leg so I can change his diaper and clothes (even though he must be the wiggliest child ever).

*We did not leave our pillows at my parents house in Wyoming after visiting for Thanksgiving. We are WAY smarter than that!

*When my potty-trained two-year-old had a rare accident in the middle of the night, I did not cover the damp spot on his bed with a towel and blanket and then return him to bed because it was quicker than changing the bed. I'm not that lazy, right?

*I did not accidentally hit the wrong button and publish a post that only had a title.

*I did not eat slices of 4 different kinds of pie within a 24 hour period. Of course I would not justify it by insisting that everyone else had more than that!

There. Don't you feel better? I know I do!

I am participating in Not Me! Monday.

Laundry Faux Pas and the Blue Toilet

It has been a couple of weeks since I participated in "Not Me! Monday". First, I couldn't think of anything particularly funny or embarrassing that had happened at the Honey House. So I just wrote about whatever I wanted (that's what bloggers do, right?). However, as this week progressed there were a couple of things that just begged to be put on my "Not Me!" list, so here it goes:

I did not make our steaks "very well done" because I got busy blogging and forgot about them. Nope, not me!

I did not accidentally wash a pair of my son's white underwear with a red blanket, making them slightly pink. Besides, pink is an o.k. color for boys now, right?

When our water main broke and we had no water, our kind neighbors let me use their downstairs bathroom to shower. I was not sad that I didn't have my camera with me so I could take a picture of their powder blue toilet to show to you. I also did not entertain thoughts of using the spare key they gave us to go over later to get said toilet photo.

I absolutely did not spend all evening at work with mud on my black shoes without noticing until I got home that night. I am too observant to do stuff like that!

I was not momentarily ungrateful for my vocal talent when I was asked to sing Alto instead of Soprano to help out the choir for their Christmas program. (You can probably guess which part I enjoy singing).

I have not been constantly saying "Mama-mama" to my eight month old to try to get him to say "Mama" before "Daddy". I'm not at all competitive like that!

I did not notice one of my hair piks in the washer after the clothes had finished washing. I most certainly did not somehow find the same hair pik in the dryer later with that same load of laundry. I mean, what kind of silly-head would see it and then end up putting it in the dryer anyway?!

After looking at the above list, I have decided that perhaps I am not qualified to do laundry at our house anymore! Too bad I can't just hire someone, huh? What didn't you do this week?

A Comedy of Errors

Isn't it refreshing to be brutally honest about the things that really happen in our day to day lives? Brutally honest in a not me, I did not kind of way, that is. So in the interest of almost full disclosure, here's what happened this week:

I did not leave my six-month old in pajamas the entire day. Not me! That would just be lazy.

Just a few days later I certainly did not leave my baby in the same clothes for approximately 36 hours because that would be gross.

I did not lock myself out of the house with the baby inside again and have to retrieve the spare key to get back inside. I'm not that forgetful, right?

At the craft store with my husband I absolutely did not notice that may baby spit up directly on the linoleum floor. And I most certainly did not just walk away with him because we had no burp cloth with us to clean it up. That would just be disgusting.

I did not blow my diet by eating a piece of pie nearly every evening this week, because I have unlimited willpower.

It absolutely did not snow here this morning! Fall is not coming to a close and winter is certainly not on it's way!

I did not participate in a 20 mile bike ride for breast cancer in the rain, cold and snow. I also did not just practically beg you to go look at my post about it below.

I absolutely did not just look at MckMama's blog and freak out because she posted Not Me! Monday before I was finished with my post and there were already over 60 links up on her blog carnival. That would mean that I am obsessed with my blog and getting comments, and I'm not that pathetic, right?

Speaking of my blog, I completely redesigned my blog all by myself! My sister absolutely did not help in any way, shape or form.

Would I do that?

It seems that everything starts to get busier this time of year at the Honey House. Preparations for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas make life a little more hectic.

With so much going on, there are more things that can go awry. Of course that never happens at our house! So here is a list of things that definitely did not happen at our house in the past week.

I did not lock myself out of the house with the baby inside and have to retrieve our spare key to get back in. Not me!

I did not go an entire day without taking a shower because I got busy and forgot about it until bedtime, at which point I decided to just wait until tomorrow. Not me, because that would be gross.

I did not bribe my son to eat more of his peanut butter and jam sandwich by rewarding him with bites of my salad and carrots because that would mean my son is a bit strange, wouldn't it?

I absolutely did not misplace my debit card, thus requiring me to cancel our cards and order new ones because I never lose things like that. Not me!

I did not put my husbands shirts in the dryer and then pull them out and hang them up as soon as they were done to pass them off as having been ironed.

I did not groan and beg my son for "five more minutes" when he came and told me "Mommy, it's time to wake up."

I most certainly did not sleep in with my husband while our two year old emptied the entire contents of a container of baby powder onto the floor of his baby brother's room. Not me!

Toothpicks and Q-tips

I ran into "Not me! Monday" on a blog that I read occasionally and I thought it looked like a whole lot of fun. So without further ado, here is a list of thing that I absolutely, positively did not do in the past week:

I did not wait to get breakfast for my son until he repeatedly asked me to because I was busy on the computer... ( I was not blogging, really!).

I did not give my son peanut butter crackers and let him eat them on my husband's side of the bed so I could sleep in a little longer. Twice. (Sorry honey!)

I did not let my son drink some of my diet coke when he asked for it because that would not be good for him at all, right?

I did not give my son's face a spit bath in public.

I did not bicycle 67 miles on my birthday because that would be just plain crazy. (There will not be tons of photos and commentary about it on my next post either :o)

While we are confessing things here, just so you know I have a thing about ear wax. I can't stand yucky, waxy ears. (Yes, I do use Q-tips with caution on my kid's ears even though they are sharper than my elbow!). Apparently Jonah, my two-year-old, has picked up his ear cleanliness habit from me. So after a bath one morning this week he and I had the following conversation:

Jonah: I have some ear wax. I need a toothpick.
Me: A toothpick, are you sure?
Jonah: Yep. I need a toothpick for you to clean my earwax.
Me: Umm... Maybe you mean a Q-tip.
Jonah: Oh. I need a Q-pick for my earwax.
Me: You mean a Q-tip?
Jonah: Yes. A Cute-tip.
Me (laughing): close enough.