Thursday, June 19, 2008

Trash Talks

Wednesday is garbage day in our neighborhood. Although it is nice to have your trash taken away by a big blue truck, there are some things that I definitely don't like about garbage day.

Every morning I go on a walk, pushing my boys in the double stroller. I usually go early when it's cooler and it makes me feel good... except on garbage day when it makes me feel sick! You would not believe how much people's garbage stinks! I don't know why this should surprise me because with two boys in diapers, my own garbage doesn't smell like a bed of roses either.

I still go walking on garbage day, but no matter how I try to steer clear of the garbage cans I can still smell it all. Yuck! Even if the can is empty. Maybe I just have a sensitive nose or something.

Anyway, pondering the smelly trash made me think of what people would learn about us if they (for some weird reason) decided to rummage through our garbage. Here's what I came up with:

1. The stinky diapers would tell you that are two children living at the house. One is a toddler and one is a baby.

2. The man of the house reads every computer magazine known to man!

3. The woman of the house is probably happy because the man of the house actually throws said magazines away instead of piling them up in the garage.

4. Certain feminine products indicate that there IS a woman of the house (of child-bearing age, of course).

5. The lack of fast food containers would indicate that they don't eat out often.

6. The woman of the house gets all the ads and coupons for local craft stores.

7. These people don't drink a lot of soda.

8. The presence of bits of fabric, thread, and paper would indicate that the woman of the house enjoys sewing and other paper crafts.

9. The lack of coffee, tea, tobacco, or alcoholic beverage paraphernalia would indicate that these people are either health nuts or Mormons.

10. None of the trash (including the magazines) has the name or address of the people living there, so these people must be paranoid (safety first!).

11. Breakfast is either Honey Bunches of Oats, Life Cereal, or Frosted Mini-Wheats.

12. Wow! How much milk can one family drink?

So what would your garbage say about you?


  1. Now you have me intrigued - how much milk do you drink a week? We are at 4-5 gallons. Do you have us beat? And by the way, I only drink one glass a day and our daughter only one every couple of days. It's the boys who drink milk in our house. And remember, my kids go to a babysitter two days a week (eat lunch at the babysitters).

  2. Ok. You've got me beat. We are go through about 3 gallons a week. But that's for just three of us (the baby can't have milk, of course).